It's okay. It's okay, Nick.

I feel that the month of October has been, so far, the worst month throughout my stay in the UK.

A series of unfortunate events that keep coming through my life, draining me off mentally and physically.

Laptop broke down. It's okay, bring it to a computer shop to fix it but was told the latest appointment will be a week. It's okay, I will wait and be patient. Without laptop, I can't really do much with my ongoing studies and it felt kinda annoying and inconvenient.

Then, I felt sick. Severe eyes infection. Then, a mild fever and flu hit me together. It's okay. Just go to a walk-in clinic.. but was told to go away and get some temporary relief at a nearest pharmacy. I tell myself, it's okay and be patient.

Then, I had a confrontation with my roommate. Anger words were thrown at each other. Cold war. It's not a fault game to play. Perhaps it was just a personality and lifestyle conflict. It's okay, I tell myself. I opt out and decided to find another place to stay.

A week later, I felt extremely sick. Both of my eyes are getting more painful and my vision was temporarily impaired. Things were not getting any better. I cannot even get up from my bed. But I still forced myself and went to a hospital this time.

I sat down, waiting in queue for my name to be called. Within that 3 hours of waiting, I cried.

I cried hard. I cried not because I am weak. I cried because I want to stop everything I am doing now and go back home. I cried because I miss everything back in home. I am cried because I am sick. I cried I am lonely now but I still refused for other's help.

I cried because I doubt myself for choosing to study a demanding vocational barrister course whereby I can opt to study back in my hometown country. I cried because studies have been causing me stress and I am avoiding the fact that I am depressed.

I cried because all the decisions that I had made is wrong since the beginning. I cried because I cannot stand it anymore. I cried because I keep telling lies to myself that things will be okay and that I will be okay.

I was given antibiotics for my eyes and I went back home, continued my research to find a place to stay. I felt worry at the same time as I had already missed a week of class. My friends offered to help me and I suddenly felt a bit relieved that I had them by my side. It's okay, Nick. It's okay, I tell myself.

Finally found a place to stay at Queensway. But the price is high. I felt so pressured as I am giving more financial burden to my family than I should now. Because I am desperate to find a place to stay. But it's okay, Nick. I just tell myself to work hard. Work harder. And work hardest, that is how I can pay back to my family.

I admit, I pressurise myself. maybe that is why i got sick. But at the end of day, you still have to put on a smile and pretend nothing had happened. Pretend that everything is normal whereby it is not okay at all deep inside.Everything is affecting you deeply.

Be strong, I tell myself. But how strong can a person be? How strong can one be to move heaven and earth?

It's okay Nick.

It's okay, I tell myself...

How To Boost Your Mood?

Many of us either have a deep sleep we are reluctant to be woken from. Others simply do not like mornings. Sure once they are going they are fine but that first half an hour or so is the toughest. This article discusses some rituals that can help you boost your mood first thing in the morning. 

Many of us do not like getting out of bed. Sometimes it is best to accept that and then see what you can do about the fact. The other thing to take into consideration is that some people may want to leap out of bed suddenly. They will then do some or all of the below in various orders.

Others will very slowly, ponderously do each in turn, deliberately gradually bringing their minds and bodies into the day slowly. Well there are a number of ways to change your mood, to switch your mind from foggy, post sleep dreamland to get up and go, even if it is gradually:-)

Here are 6 rituals you can go through each morning or at least on work days to start your day the right way:

1) Get straight to the kitchen. Put the kettle on and make yourself a cup of your favorite coffee. This might be instant, it might be percolated or it might be using one of those capsule machines that now mirror a cafe shop coffee.

Whatever the case allow yourself to sit down and really savor and relish the aroma of the coffee, the first sip. Sometimes this is all you may want to do.

Other times you may want to visualize the day ahead of you, imagine yourself having a positive, up kind of day.

2) Make yourself some breakfast. This may only be a couple of pieces of toast and juice but have something. Saturdays you can have the full bacon and eggs for an extended breakfast ritual, something to really take your time over making and eating! One thing many people forget about breakfast is that it is the first meal in 8-9 hours.

Your mind and body needs something to face the next day! Also if you have a decent breakfast this will carry you over until about 1pm or 2pm in the afternoon. If your work commitments mean you have to work through lunch or have a late lunch you will be fine. It also means you avoid spending so much at lunch in the city, which can add up over the week!

Image Source: http://www.thelede.blogs.nytimes.com

3)  If you are religious at all read your religious text, now you get the Quran, the Bible on smart phones and Tablets so you don’t have to even get out of bed or you can read it while you have that first coffee.

When it comes to reading any of the religious texts memorize verses that encourage you or give you hope. These may come in handy during the day if you are faced with challenges and need spiritual support.

4) Visualize you day. If you have not already done this think of what you have on that day. Try and visualise, imagine, picture what you have to do and visualise it going well. This may not always mean that things will go smoothly but it will help prepare you for your day. It also sets the stage for planning and organising your day.

Image source: http://www.theguardian.com

5) Get in the shower and enjoy waking yourself up. Some people like to use refreshing fruit scented gels or even aromatherapy gels with real natural medicinal benefits such as revitalising your mind, lifting your spirits (orange, Ylang ylang and pine).

When you are in the shower start with hot or warm and then if you can bear it, finish with a bracing cold shower. This will not only wake up but it is also good for your circulation and your heart.

6) Before heading out that door, tell yourself “Today is going to be a great day” and smile at yourself in the mirror before you head out the door. 

Source: http://www.sunsigns.org/6-morning-rituals-boost-mood/

A post

On Daily Life
So much had happened that I don't even know where to start.

I am glad that I get back to this blog.

I graduated.

It feels like, in a blink of eye, everything just passed so fast and without realising, we are closing one chapter of book and bound to write another chapter of stories.

On My Thoughts
Living in this busy city makes me realise that time matters. As time passes, we slowly forget our pace of life, our heartbeats, our body temperature, even ourselves and most of all, our values. Because time and space changes us. And this change is neither good nor bad, it's up to you to define it. But I think my change so far has been a good one. Or maybe not to be honest...

Declare war

The exam timetable is out already.

Everyone is so panic and trying to remain calm like me.

I am scared but I am still procrastinating here and there.

It feels like I am fighting this all alone again. I missed my friends who study with me together.

I know even I can't find a study buddy here, I am not alone.

For i have myself with me all this time. Its feels kinda depressed, but I promise you, once you get through this, you will be fine. It will bear a fruitful result.

It is time to work a bit harder. Just for these two months...

This is the one last step before graduating. Just one-last-step before getting a law degree!

Remain calm. Study smart. And just do whatever you can within these two months.

Try to be positive, think of the positive and act positive.

Remember to take some interval rest in between study hours.

Focus one thing at a time. No multi-task!

Put yourself in an offensive mode, not defensive mode.

It is time to declare war!!