I feel like crying now. (T.T) Sometimes I think that reading law requires a deeper understanding than a normal person does. It requires an analytical thinking to distinguish the law concepts in a big chunk of cases. Then you have to be critical to find out any loopholes in the law. The bombastic words used in law texts, beautiful in a way I can say, is rather hard to understand.
Everytime I try to open my law textbook and read, I feel defeated. My level of English is no way matching up to the British English used in the books. I got to admit, despite my average level of english which I think is sufficient enough to read law, is not enough to digest a paragraph of law theories in the book. I have to re-read it for the third time then only my poor tiny little brain can process 50% of what the legal wordings are conveying about. Scared and panic? Hell yes I am now!
And I have finally received my assignments last week which means it is now the time to declare war. To add salt to the wound, I have to admit that I still did nothing after one week of drafting. I still do not understand the questions no matter how hard I try to understand them. I feel really defeated now. All I can do now is to keep praying to God for guidance.
I keep telling myself that it is a process of learning. Do not fear and be consistent in anything you do. Sometimes, I do have a second thought of giving up. Is it really the pathway that I want to go? Is this really what I have signed up for? What if I am doing arts now, would the consequences be like this too? There are so many thoughts playing in my mind telling and urging to withdraw instead of moving forward.
But I try to remind myself why I do it in the first place. I think that a good education can change one's life and we make a living out of it. Let's take it step by step. My progress might seem to be slower than others but I got to try and try and keep trying. Here is a note to myself.
- No procrastination because you have been doing it for the whole life and it is time to really change and quit the bad habit.
- Try to cover up what you have learnt within the week and get the readings started!
- Pay attention during class and don't day dream!
- Bold up and ask lecturers or tutors if you don't understand anything.
- Sleep early so that you can wake up early, feeling refreshed.
- Make some notes as reference if necessary.
- Read up more sources outside the scope of lectures and notes.
- Take breaks within study hours to charge up yourself.
- Call family often because at the end of the day, they are the one who support and care for you.
- Mingle with friends because I want my college life to be exciting!
- No dating because I am not in the mood to be in a relationship. Gotta focus more on myself.
- Take more pictures and upload them here!
- Be strong, move out from your comfort zone and be independent.
- Attend church because I want God to stay with me always.
Time is ticking fast, exams are drawing nearer and in a blink of eye you are going to graduate and enter into the society. Really, time and tide wait for no man. It is really the time to buckle up and move forward. It is the time to pick up the pieces, what is left behind let it be, and move on. Everyone can do it, and so do I.
No comments:
Post a Comment