Of emotions and trust issues

I think that one should learn how to control and guard his or her emotions and feelings well. Sometimes, it is crucial for one to remain calm and composed even at emergency times. I admire people with calmness in their minds because they give or spread out a sense of grace and charm that others don't have. They are also intelligent in a way that they can think before they speak or act.

Intelligent people are beautiful. They are strong and independent. They do not cling on others to achieve a certain goal or an aim because they already have, in mind, how to do it. They converse in a sense that they are able to portray maturity and reasonable points are made. Intelligent people, despite genders are, really beautiful. I am still training myself and wish to be that 'intelligent' person.

On the other side of coin, I also feel one should not easily pour out your emotions when no one out there will listen and appreciate your inner feelings. 

I am the type of person who am really guarded and don't easily trust a person. I feel that trust need to be earned by actions and words at the same time, not just a mere saying.

It might take years for me to get comfortable with someone and thus, I admit that I only have three friends that I can rely on in my life. Yes I am really closed up to myself who don't open up easily. 

Hence, people tend to get mistaken and assume that I am a cold type of person - the quiet and unpredictable. Well kind of I guess. I can, at times, be really open up to myself but I still place a certain limits on myself that certain stuffs should and should not be done at that time. 

I know I have many untold stories but slowly, they will unfold by themselves I believe, in faith.

I do not need many friends. I just need someone whom I can trust and talk with and to share my feelings. I need a friend whom I can sit with, feeling comfortable without awkwardness even when no words are spoken. It is hard to get such friend indeed.