Emotionally stressed

Exams will just start in three more days. I still feel like I have done less than what I should have been done now. Time is running so fast and everything happened so fast. I cannot keep up with it emotionally and physically.

I will just do whatever I can, for now.

My roommate

Today, we sent off our roommate , Roderick, to KL Sentral. Throughout the journey, my heart feels like sinking. Yes, I admit I do want to burst out but I manage to keep control of my emotions. Part of me is because I want to give a good farewell without tears to my room mate.

Sadly, the emotions just come too strong and hard to bear. Everyone cried. I know this farewell means a lot to everyone. We spent so much time living under one roof, it feels like each and everyone is bonded like family members. We hang out together, eat dinner together, complain together and do all sorts of crazy stuffs a normal college student will do. One good thing I can learn from him is that in life, we must know to work hard and play hard too. I have no experience in these kind of brother friendship before but I really feel it deep in my heart and it is so hard to let it go just like that.

I know after this farewell, it will be hard to meet up again and do the normal crazy stuffs like we used to do in the house. But memories will always stay forever in my heart. So a big shout out to my first ever room mate, I wish you nothing but all the best in your future undertakings.

I feel sad typing this as if like I still have not settle down my emotions. Part of it because I feel guilty for not spending much time with them during the last week. The image of us bidding farewell, wishing good luck and crying together is still vividly playing in my mind. Goodbye is always the saddest thing to say. But i believe goodbye will also bring the next hello closer.

Stuffs

Exams are coming, just around the corner. I feel a bit panic, a lot actually. I have done quite a lot of reading. In fact, that is the most amount of reading I have ever done in my life. Even I, myself, can't believe i have done that.

On the other note, my assignment marks are out. It was fairly okay. Average. But I know I can push myself beyond that level. So I am still not satisfied as I believe there are still room for improvements.

Sometimes I feel like I am still doubting myself whether I can do it or not. But I just want to thank God for sending me a companion, a study buddy to be exact, to fight along this war together. I trust my friend wholeheartedly as we support each other and encourage each other to go beyond our limit levels.  Yes, I can feel the grade A so near but yet so far away. I always ask myself... can I do it? Can I do it?

I feel tired sometimes but God always gives me energy whenever I am exhausted. He knows I am strong enough to go through this challenge and hence, He will definitely walk along with me and we put through this all together. We have gone through the assignment period together and not it is time for the final exams.

So far, my lecturers and tutors have been very dedicated in teaching me and pointing out my mistakes when I am passing up my essays or drafts. There is one thing that remain blur is that I am still... doubting whether did they fully read my essays? I mean not that I want to cast doubt but their speed of reading an essay is like less than 3 minutes! Did they pay attention to the judgement or comment I have made? Because I have really put my heart and soul in searching these stuffs.

Hoorr... I feel like crying. (T.T)

I want...

... put a few clothes in a suitcase and get away.

Stuck in time, captured in captivity, am out of breath.

I just want to go somewhere far away alone. I want to see and live the world. I want to feel fresh again. I want my passion for life back. Because I feel so lifeless now. A body without a passionate soul. I feel dead.

I just want to get away, right here, right now.