She could never go back and make some of the details pretty.

All she could do was move forward and make the whole beautiful.

- Terri St. Cloud -

Updates

Some updates as of 24.11.2014

1) I lost my phone. Goodbye phone, I will miss you much. Thanks for accompanying me through hard times. You have been a very good friend all these years. When I found out you were lost, it felt like I had lost a piece of me because we are so overly attached together. To the person who took my phone, can you please return it? Be kind to others and you will be showered with lots of blessings.

2) I found out that cooking is pretty fun. You can mix everything you feel like putting into a saucepan then it will turn out well and cooked. I manage to cook stir fry pasta with salmon, mom must be very proud of me. *spotlight shines*

3) Criminology is hard. I don't even know what would I take this subject in the first place? Marxism, Dahrendorf, Austin Turk.. what's that?!

4) My Criminology lecturer is from Oxford University. She is pretty elegant. When she tied her hair up, wow, just WOW...

5) I am in Christmas mood. I am curios how Christmas is celebrated here but I can see the town and the malls are already decorated and Christmas songs are played everywhere.

6) Despite I meet a lot of friends here, I still feel lonely deep inside.

7) I have been slacking a lot. Most of the time I am thinking what to cook. I really need to kickstart my study with more discipline.

8) What phone should I get?

9) I lost my campus card along with my phone. I went to make another one and surprisingly, the picture taken turns out pretty well. I wonder do they allow us to upload selfies as well?

10) Chandelier (acoustic version) by Sia has been playing in my head for the whole day.

On Love

The most difficult part in Love :

when you care for a person who you love , 

and you know they are the wrong one but you still hope they will change someday. 

My piece of story

Here's a story; my story which I am not ashamed to tell. 

Puberty do me no good. Like everyone else, nobody really pay attention to me, just an ordinary outcasted student. I am glad I have passed through that phase of life. And we change for a reason.

 This is me around 2006 - 2007.

I remember this picture is taken around 2007 I think.

This is me in 2012, my gap year

I googled on how to reduce weight. At that point, I was thinking only to reduce my BMI into normal instead of obese. I also start to reduce fatty food intake - soft drinks, fast food, canned food, rice. Well, I didn't really completely eliminate them, just reduce some of them. I still have cheat meals every now and then. 

I exercise a lot. Really a lot. I have no idea what to exercise and how to do it. I practically have no idea and all I do is to move my body, literally anywhere. Then I start to learn from the internet and I start to take baby steps. I used some K-Pop celebs as my motivation - talk about the newly debuted EXO in 2012. (I like them cause most of them are almost same age as me).

 I almost give up for the first few months because I don't see any results. I remembered during the third month, my weight suddenly dropped 3/4 kgs. I was over the moon. 

And that is the point when it starts to get a little bit extreme. I exercise a lot, everyday, until I vomit in the toilet. There was one time when my vision went blurry and I had difficulty in breathing after doing some strenuous exercise. My father had to sit me down on the sofa and brought me a hot towel. For me, numbers of KG matter the most. I remembered I almost fainted before (practically lying on the floor), where my mom almost called the ambulance for help. My face were pale and my lips were white. I think I develop a mild anorexia too - but I keep it to myself and didn't tell anyone. 

Then, I started to realise that I need to stop doing everything I am doing now. What is the point if this is not making me healthy at all? I start to slow down my exercise routine, take up some good fibre food, fish and lean meat, replenish the nutrient of the body by taking more fruits and water, and wow, my weight dropped even more than last time! That is when I learn that we have to eat to lose weight and it is the food you put into your mouth that matter. 

My first year of college. 

My final year. 

I still retain some loose skin and stretch marks on my body and it can be corrected through surgery or applying bio-oil (but I am too lazy to do that). 

Many people said I had changed over the years. Yeah I had changed physically but I am still the the boy who used to be fat before - I retain my values, teachings and understandings that brought me up as a child.  I was brought up in an environment where I was told not to forget my roots and always remember to stay humble and kind to each other.   I think I am glad I have made it through everything and I am happy with what I am now. 

Of course, I still want to continue in improving myself - physically and mentally. I plan to work hard and get a law degree, shower more love to my family, get a pet, adopt a child, volunteer, travel to Korea, go to gym, meet a life-long partner, take up music lessons, learn to cook, buy a house, write a book, own a coffee shop, build a home library, meet Oprah Winfrey, attend Celine Dion concert, learn to dance... practically anything, everything, many things!! 

Improve, improve, improve and never settle anything less than perfect. This story is to remind me not to lose faith or give up, because if you think you can do it, and with a positive mindset and objective, you CAN really do it. 

I am homesick for a place I am not sure even exists. 

One where my heart is full. 

And my soul is understood.

During lectures

I am depressed every time I attend a lecture. The lecturer basically just stands there and keep yapping about law, law and law. I blink my eyes several times telling myself to focus on what the lecturer is trying to convey but damn, I cannot concentrate!

Part of me thinking what am I here doing with folders and pens on my lap listening to the barely-i-could-comprehend English accent and part of me was thinking how boring the subjects can be. Wait, my stomach is grumbling. What did I eat this morning... oh yes, banana. How healthy.

Focus, focus, focus but damn, I start to feel asleep the very next moment. Surprisingly I am quite awake when the lecturer calls for break. LOL!

Oh part of me was observing the crowd... some were busy taking notes, some were listening attentively, some were fidgeting with their pens, some were on their phones, oh look at her beanie! How cute was that. Hm, look at his coat! That looks good on you - is that from Gap or Topman? Primemark maybe?

The very next moment, the lecture has ended. WHAT?! It has ended? What am I doing for the past few hours?! *face palmed*

Focus!

Perspective

The idea of beauty is not merely defined in one's physical appearance.

It relies on one's perspective on how beautiful an object can be. 

是穿過這風沙

或只需拆下這輕紗

天堂在哪

若你想找它去吧

天堂有路 - 王菀之

Life Through Lens

I got a new toy just right before I make my trip to the UK. 

Here, I will be opening a new label 'Life Through Lens' in my blog.

Do click on the label for more inspiring pictures in future! 

Brickfields Asia College

I study at Brickfields Asia College which is located in front of the YMCA building. As an outstation student, I live in a school hostel near the college named BAC Residence (but we used to call it Shresta Flat). The hostel, overall, is still new and it has just been built in 2012 and I am the first batch to move into the hostel. It takes approximately 15 minutes by walking distance to reach the college from the hostel.

I passed through this pathway every morning when I was walking to my college. There is a hotel located on the right side, Hotel Sentral.

I was told Kang Gary from Running Man once stood here and took a picture. Now it became a history spot I guess lol. By the way, the yellow building is the YMCA and I used to have my lunch there at Syiok Cafe. 

 Old Town Coffee. Walk straight and you will see a hotel on your left side.

Left side: My Hotel@Brickfields. The building next to this hotel is BAC. 

Me being happy with my dopey face at the college entrance.

Inner Beauty – A reality or just a myth?

I had written an article for the Taylor's University weekly newsletter. Don't ask me how did I get in there but I actually exceeded my word limits and was told to cut my essay short. Nevertheless, here's the full version of it. Take your time to read and comment.

Inner Beauty – A reality or just a myth?

The subject of inner beauty presents an awkward dialectic. On the one hand, there is the ultimate desire to enhance one’s physical beauty to impress oneself; a truly altruistic ideal. Yet, on the other hand, this is negated by firm believers who endorse ‘inner beauty clearly outweighs physical beauty’. The search for this elusive balance has proved difficult at best. How far then, have we come, from a starting point of almost blatant refusal and just how far have we left to go to achieve the ultimate aspiration of an equitable synthesis?

Beauty is a characteristic of a person, animal, place, object, or idea that provides a perceptual experience of pleasure or satisfaction. Beauty is studied as part of aesthetics, sociology, social psychology, and culture. An "ideal beauty" is an entity which is admired, or possesses features widely attributed to beauty in a particular culture, for perfection. The experience of "beauty" often involves an interpretation of some entity as being in balance and harmony with nature, which may lead to feelings of attraction and emotional well being. Because this can be a subjective experience, it is often said that "beauty is in the eye of the beholder." In other words, the definition of ‘beauty’ in a person, regardless gender or age, is viewed subjectively.

Marilyn Monroe, being an influential woman of her time once said, “Boys think girls are like books, if the cover doesn’t catch their eye they won’t even bother to read what’s inside”. What a hard-headed Marilyn is… but true to some certain extent, her saying does carry an expressive and realistic meaning. When looking into one’s person beauty, it is often said that physical beauty comes first before inner beauty. In fact, it takes only 3 seconds to judge a person’s physical outlook! It is no wonder why mankind will try their best to improve their looks just to gain ‘acceptance’ or ‘acknowledgement’ in the society. Girls put on thick make-up all day long and guys waxed their hair up and wore expensive check tees just to impress the persons around us. We signed up for gym memberships and constantly took care of our diet. We consistently improve and enhance our physical beauty appearances because we strive for perfection, or near to perfection. From trying botox injections to liposuctions, some even go as far as to spend a large sum of money and put themselves under the knife to achieve golden ratio of the perfect human face. It is a common human nature to look good and feel good of us in front of everybody Undoubtedly, if we can agree about one thing today it is surely the world we inhabit today is not the same world as we inhabited in 1950. Plastic surgery maybe viewed as a taboo during the mid-nineteenths but it is widely accepted by the society nowadays. The definition and expression of ‘beauty’ has thus evolved over the time. Society’s attitude on ‘beauty’ has changed and the ‘ideal beauty’ set by a wholly different society and way of life defines us.

Be that as it may, should we allow the so-called ‘ideal beauty’ to define us, regardless of age or gender? “People often say that beauty is in the eye of the beholder and I say that the most liberating thing about beauty is realizing that you are the beholder. This empowers us to find beauty in places where others have not dared to look, including inside ourselves,” said Salma Hayek, a Mexican-American film actress, director and producer. 

Clearly, she is firm believer in inner beauty. Sometimes, being beautiful does not mean you have to carry expensive branded goods, having a fit body or a good-looking face. Beauty can be expressed in many different forms and elements, say gestures, actions or words. Audrey Hepburn provides the perfect illustration. Born in the Netherlands, she nearly died of hunger during the World War II but fortunately was rescued by the United Nation refugee programme. When asked about her beauty secrets, she replied with remarkable grace: ‘For lovely eyes, seek out the good in people. For a slim figure, share your food with the hungry. For beautiful hair, let a child run his or her fingers through it once a day. People, even more than things, have to be restored, renewed, revived, reclaimed and redeemed. Never throw out anybody. The beauty of a woman is not in a facial mole. True beauty in a woman is reflected in her soul. It is the caring that she lovingly gives, the passion that she shows, and the beauty of a woman with passing years only grows.’

Conversely, many people think inner beauty is just a phrase "used for ugly people to make them feel better about themselves." People who think that are sorely mistaken. Beauty is viewed in many different ways. Not all people who have inner beauty are "ugly," in fact; many people with inner beauty also have outer beauty. So you cannot just look at someone and know if they have inner beauty, you have to get to know them first. For instance, a person who owns the value of altruism and generosity will eventually bring out the best in them. This is because oxytocin is produced when we are touched by the example of someone we admire through his or her acts of generosity and etc. Oxytocin is a hormone that creates bonds of affection. The brain reacting to emotions creates such hormone that make our heart beat faster. Doubtless, this love hormone reminds us that it is through our bonds with other people that we get in touch with everything that are good in us. Indeed, “the best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen, nor touched…but are felt in the heart,” said Helen Keller.

To conclude, you do not need to wear Prada or carry a MCM backpack to look and feel good. Always tell yourself that you would like to be remembered as someone who accomplished useful deeds and who was a kind and loving person. While we may not be able to control all that happens to us, we can control what happens inside us. Always leave the memory of a human being with a correct attitude and who did his or her best to help others. Also, whenever you feel that you are not beautiful, always remember our good old Confucius once said, “Everything is beautiful, but not everyone sees it”.

Audrey Hepburn, international actress and world-class humanitarian.

Image source: www.biography.com

Written by,

Low Gin Tung

2nd Year Law Undergraduate

Brickfields Asia College

What is sadness?

When I am listening to sad songs or movie, of course I feel sad.  In layman's term, we call it 'emotional'. But hey, it's normal since human has emotions. But sometimes, you just feel sad out of nowhere and without a reason. The feeling just strike you and without knowing it, you are immersing yourself in the pool of sadness. Your facial expression defy you and your surrounding people started to question you. You then start to doubt yourself and your own validity. You become tired. You start to link it with so many things and it makes life sadder than it is now.

It's a feeling. Human emotion gave birth to it. Some say it's a gift and some say it's a nightmare. For me, it is a feeling that we cannot avoid, delete or erase. And there is nothing wrong to feel sad. People tend to relate it with negativity. Sadness makes a person fragile, and then stronger. Sometimes, we just have to undergo that phase of life, so that we can grow in maturity. And you know what, we just have to grow with it, live with it and be part of it.

Of hate and love

I had just done watching Transformer: Age of Extinction with my family members. What I can say was that the background music was a bit noisy but damn, the animations and CGI were just magnificent! (I still prefer Divergent) Upon going back home since it was already 9pm, we decided to stop by at a restaurant for late dinner. Things got a little bit heated up when my aunt and my uncle argued over decision making on ordering dishes. Angry words were used and fiery eyes were exchanged between them.

There on, I ponder a while. Fightings and arguments usually occur in a relationship. It is amazing how one spouse can tolerate another no matter how ugly their argument turned out to be. I wonder, can I do that with my partner in the future? Mankind are easily manipulated by emotions and therefore, we act out of these emotions which subsequently damage our relationship. It is amazing how my uncle can remain calm (though I know he is kinda hurt by those bashful words used on him) and how he is able to forgive and forget so fast. What makes him to be so tolerable? What makes him so calm? 

I guess it is a form of unconditional love...? It is so rare, so precious that mankind ought to forgive and forget all the hates, anger, sadness, jealousy and all kinds of sins on the person you love. I have not been officially in a relationship before, but unconditional love rarely exist nowadays, I think. Because mankind is so blinded by materialism - looks, body, status. If we are to find our life partner based on this three criteria, can we still find unconditional love? 

Drizzling here

Just sat for my Tort Law paper yesterday. It was hard, as usual.  I am still waiting for the next paper this coming Friday. Was walking under rain just now. Just had a simple dinner, the air was cold and the indian shops nearby were blasting their latest Bollywood songs. Typical Brickfields. I was thinking, at that time, the many 'what if's' in my life. There you go again, Nick, always think of life and life and life. But basically that is what I do when I am alone. I am kinda a introvert in a way, I think. I took my time walking back to my hostel and I kinda enjoyed the patchy drizzle. Kinda soothing in a way.

Be quiet.

Be silent.

It is time to work harder now.

Where is my dream?

What is my goal?

Seems so near yet so faraway from my grasp.

Be quiet.

Be silent.

I need to work hard now.